








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1237 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 33 | 1% |
| Smokes | 603 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 812 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 979 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $585,176 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not kayla | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | s3n | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | asp3ct | 55% | 53 |
| #4 | Xip | 52% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not kayla | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | s3n | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | asp3ct | 55% | 53 |
| #4 | Xip | 52% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xip | 10 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | asp3ct | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | s3n | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | not kayla | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asp3ct | 142 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | not kayla | 124 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | s3n | 98 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Xip | 79 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asp3ct | +5.82 | 87 | 60 |
| #2 | s3n | -0.09 | 49 | 71 |
| #3 | not kayla | -0.17 | 56 | 65 |
| #4 | Xip | -0.45 | 50 | 44 |
| #5 | It's not All Good Man | -1.12 | 44 | 18 |





