








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 296 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2151 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,692 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 914 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2210 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3752 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 1816 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,058,932 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VoteforPeso | 57% | 100 |
| #2 | ShiftarN^ | 48% | 27 |
| #3 | [c.B] Beamiest | 47% | 266 |
| #4 | MoZ | 47% | 36 |
| #5 | ylva från tv | 44% | 227 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VoteforPeso | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | [c.B] Beamiest | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | ylva från tv | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | ShiftarN^ | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Lif1 //- | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [c.B] Beamiest | 755 | 0.13 | 23 min |
| #2 | ylva från tv | 565 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #3 | VoteforPeso | 136 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | MoZ | 62 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lif1 //- | 40 | 0.07 | 1 min |





