








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,507 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 892 | 36% |
| Smokes | 684 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 454 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 477 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $426,549 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | fARIHA | 54% | 134 |
| #7 | dolph1n | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | MisterRip | 50% | 14 |
| #9 | forbidden™ | 44% | 16 |
| #10 | hazzebobo | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fARIHA | 406 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | forbidden™ | 125 | 0.39 | 3 min |
| #3 | hazzebobo | 81 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | dolph1n | 73 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #5 | Profail | 68 | 0.21 | 1 min |





