








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 230 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1050 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1749 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1420 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 634 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $589,145 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wonders | 56% | 124 |
| #2 | statistically, a problem | 51% | 340 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wonders | 56% | 124 |
| #2 | statistically, a problem | 51% | 340 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | statistically, a problem | 30 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Wonders | 14 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | statistically, a problem | 1298 | 0.19 | 34 min |
| #2 | Wonders | 284 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | statistically, a problem | +6.20 | 74 | 65 |
| #2 | Wonders | +2.70 | 58 | 62 |
| #3 | Pedro Pascal | -4.89 | 39 | 31 |





