








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2092 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,521 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1992 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1738 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1719 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1072 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,056,382 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LimitedFragz | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | Cheza | 49% | 35 |
| #3 | Hayes | 47% | 30 |
| #4 | WarPig | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | SpiKyAsH | 44% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpiKyAsH | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | WarPig | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Cheza | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Hayes | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | LimitedFragz | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hayes | +2.76 | 81 | 58 |
| #2 | SpiKyAsH | +1.77 | 78 | 38 |
| #3 | WarPig | +0.25 | 62 | 52 |
| #4 | NicoPG | -0.54 | 49 | 58 |
| #5 | Cheza | -0.82 | 58 | 42 |





