








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,059 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 379 | 36% |
| Smokes | 225 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 300 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 155 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $70,456 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | kaneelirull | 40% | 5 |
| #12 | lokenslok★ | 36% | 11 |
| #13 | sass | 36% | 14 |
| #14 | DavaikaJamaika | 33% | 3 |
| #15 | Bekelele | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whiff City @newsens | 2 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | sass | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | SplashBrothers | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Karlashnikov | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Lõvikuningas | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whiff City @newsens | 53 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #2 | SplashBrothers | 47 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Lõvikuningas | 37 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Rahvuslind | 29 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Black Digger Nick | 18 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rahvuslind | +2.64 | 65 | 73 |
| #2 | Bekelele | +2.61 | 70 | 62 |
| #3 | Whiff City @newsens | +2.20 | 83 | 57 |
| #4 | Black Digger Nick | +1.48 | 48 | 78 |
| #5 | SplashBrothers | +0.93 | 58 | 67 |





