








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 694 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 359 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4841 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,269 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3348 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4076 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4323 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3522 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,287,336 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 295 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M3nt4L# | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | Farming elo | 48% | 29 |
| #3 | LarryS | 46% | 37 |
| #4 | Elo Noob 2.0 | 33% | 43 |
| #5 | ωєвιιιι ❤ | 30% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | LarryS | 46% | 37 |
| #4 | Elo Noob 2.0 | 33% | 43 |
| #5 | ωєвιιιι ❤ | 30% | 87 |
| #6 | Finanzamt | 30% | 54 |
| #7 | ComeOnTouchMe | 26% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ωєвιιιι ❤ | 12 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Finanzamt | 10 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Elo Noob 2.0 | 5 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Farming elo | 5 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | LarryS | 3 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ωєвιιιι ❤ | 110 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | M3nt4L# | 96 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | ComeOnTouchMe | 85 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Elo Noob 2.0 | 59 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Finanzamt | 58 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schädlsprenga | +1.85 | 69 | 54 |
| #2 | Farming elo | +1.05 | 67 | 52 |
| #3 | M3nt4L# | +0.78 | 74 | 71 |
| #4 | LarryS | -0.02 | 77 | 52 |
| #5 | ComeOnTouchMe | -0.28 | 47 | 46 |





