








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 506 | 16% |
| Smokes | 874 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 909 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 788 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $308,200 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mjm15cs | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Kernel | 61% | 44 |
| #3 | enrgy | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | LoJa | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | AnT- lopezsub | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoJa | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | AnT- lopezsub | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Kernel | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | \Ian/ | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | RyeCreams | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kernel | 156 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | LoJa | 109 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | RyeCreams | 77 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | AnT- lopezsub | 67 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | \Ian/ | 55 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kernel | +5.82 | 95 | 71 |
| #2 | mjm15cs | +5.29 | 76 | 66 |
| #3 | AnT- lopezsub | +3.70 | 89 | 60 |
| #4 | enrgy | +0.67 | 86 | 63 |
| #5 | LoJa | -0.29 | 64 | 68 |





