








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1580 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 312 matches | ||
| Wingman | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,085 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3283 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4219 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4282 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2301 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,428,142 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaoxus | 55% | 91 |
| #2 | Sea Monkey | 47% | 283 |
| #3 | KLDbro | 44% | 99 |
| #4 | Bradchap | 40% | 133 |
| #5 | TsmartTV | Road To 2K | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sea Monkey | 1591 | 0.26 | 41 min |
| #2 | Jaoxus | 358 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Bradchap | 333 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | KLDbro | 137 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | TsmartTV | Road To 2K | 67 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaoxus | +3.41 | 76 | 63 |
| #2 | Milk | +1.61 | 50 | 56 |
| #3 | Sea Monkey | -0.24 | 36 | 68 |
| #4 | KLDbro | -2.08 | 40 | 37 |
| #5 | TsmartTV | Road To 2K | -2.93 | 34 | 58 |





