








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
952 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,851 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 514 | 28% |
| Smokes | 575 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 490 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 272 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $382,439 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Investillionaire Grindset | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | CheeseHead3116 | 67% | 27 |
| #3 | dzツ | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | hotdoghandler | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | Cemeries | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knightroaxe1 | 11 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | hotdoghandler | 7 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | CheeseHead3116 | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | yeeted lettuce | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Investillionaire Grindset | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knightroaxe1 | 123 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | hotdoghandler | 117 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | Cemeries | 61 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | CheeseHead3116 | 29 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | yeeted lettuce | 26 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hotdoghandler | +3.53 | 72 | 57 |
| #2 | Knightroaxe1 | +3.05 | 69 | 56 |
| #3 | Cemeries | +1.65 | 84 | 56 |
| #4 | dzツ | +0.57 | 72 | 56 |
| #5 | CheeseHead3116 | +0.12 | 45 | 39 |





