








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2489 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,126 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2867 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1819 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2704 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1736 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $534,874 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mario | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | zej | 55% | 86 |
| #3 | jnz™ | 55% | 44 |
| #4 | Fey | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Vax | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maesh | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | t0mdilimus | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | moiself | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Mario | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | schizoh | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zej | 197 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | schizoh | 179 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Maesh | 173 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | moiself | 89 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Fey | 84 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zej | +3.01 | 75 | 67 |
| #2 | Maesh | +0.84 | 80 | 59 |
| #3 | Nikzii | +0.56 | 56 | 68 |
| #4 | Mario | +0.45 | 72 | 65 |
| #5 | t0mdilimus | -0.09 | 64 | 52 |





