








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 272 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5195 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,936 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13441 | 46% |
| Smokes | 8198 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3180 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 4117 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $507,013 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 816 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | burger | 55% | 93 |
| #2 | boon lay octane | 55% | 139 |
| #3 | 本田 透 | 55% | 119 |
| #4 | unc brofresco | 55% | 143 |
| #5 | Fuunyiaa | 53% | 291 |





