








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
367 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,679 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 310 | 18% |
| Smokes | 307 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 656 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 406 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $55,066 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pierre Lé Butt penetration | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | 123 | 44% | 25 |
| #3 | Pets | 44% | 16 |
| #4 | mammmu | 42% | 26 |
| #5 | p1sm1ce | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pets | 7 | 0.0205 |
| #2 | p1sm1ce | 4 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | Pierre Lé Butt penetration | 3 | 0.0261 |
| #4 | Aviraj | 2 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | mammmu | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 123 | 84 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | Pets | 31 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | p1sm1ce | 29 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Aviraj | 29 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pierre Lé Butt penetration | 12 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pierre Lé Butt penetration | +5.67 | 89 | 60 |
| #2 | Aviraj | +1.92 | 50 | 35 |
| #3 | 123 | +1.65 | 72 | 55 |
| #4 | Kulps | +0.42 | 51 | 55 |
| #5 | Pets | +0.37 | 85 | 46 |





