








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3687 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1728 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3565 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2192 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3266 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,083,930 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ITguru#BasedWookie | 78% | 23 |
| #2 | many sex haver | 63% | 78 |
| #3 | Too_Restless | 59% | 70 |
| #4 | Negumi | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | sam | 49% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | many sex haver | 530 | 0.35 | 12 min |
| #2 | Too_Restless | 261 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | 1ntense | 114 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #4 | Negumi | 91 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | sam | 81 | 0.05 | 2 min |





