








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 169 matches | ||
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3364 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,264 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3185 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2805 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2385 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2889 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $666,208 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bommel | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | erLexo | 60% | 77 |
| #3 | Lederwaren Doris | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | DMRi | 56% | 48 |
| #5 | ZtriXo | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bommel | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | erLexo | 60% | 77 |
| #3 | Lederwaren Doris | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | DMRi | 56% | 48 |
| #5 | ZtriXo | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | erLexo | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Bommel | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | DMRi | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | erLexo | 331 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | DMRi | 161 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Lederwaren Doris | 114 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bommel | 110 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | ZtriXo | 104 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DREAMSP0T | +1.40 | 76 | 67 |
| #2 | ZtriXo | +0.26 | 85 | 58 |
| #3 | DMRi | +0.17 | 59 | 67 |
| #4 | Lederwaren Doris | -0.56 | 71 | 72 |
| #5 | erLexo | -0.82 | 69 | 69 |





