








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1071 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 398 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5457 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,416 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8410 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6413 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6103 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6490 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,357,680 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 195 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bea | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | Zoidberg | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | TJ | 52% | 115 |
| #4 | D1District | 51% | 351 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bea | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | Zoidberg | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | TJ | 52% | 115 |
| #4 | D1District | 51% | 351 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D1District | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | TJ | 5 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TJ | 420 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | D1District | 309 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #3 | Zoidberg | 70 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bea | 31 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D1Itachi | +0.73 | 63 | 69 |
| #2 | D1District | +0.46 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | TJ | +0.16 | 64 | 74 |
| #4 | Bea | -0.77 | 29 | 47 |
| #5 | Zoidberg | -1.04 | 48 | 64 |





