








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 497 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2778 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,131 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2593 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3373 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2965 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2200 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,091,071 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rusten | 59% | 81 |
| #2 | Ace From Space | 52% | 106 |
| #3 | Plaffe | 51% | 94 |
| #4 | Boonpa | 51% | 120 |
| #5 | Tjøppe | 50% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | kurotoraKai- | 49% | 45 |
| #8 | Kai- | 48% | 52 |
| #9 | SUPER MARIO | 48% | 42 |
| #10 | Faldereb | 46% | 50 |
| #11 | Don Hansen | 46% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rusten | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Plaffe | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | kurotoraKai- | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Boonpa | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Tjøppe | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plaffe | 423 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | Tjøppe | 270 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | Rusten | 160 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Don Hansen | 152 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | SUPER MARIO | 141 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plaffe | +3.41 | 71 | 75 |
| #2 | Rusten | +3.32 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Tjøppe | +1.25 | 71 | 80 |
| #4 | snyyyz- | +1.03 | 76 | 69 |
| #5 | Boonpa | +0.59 | 66 | 62 |





