








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1211 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,525 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 102 | 7% |
| Smokes | 391 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 555 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 477 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,018,010 of utility $332 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obese Doggo | 11 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | CLU | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Bubba | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Duke Dennis of CS | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | トムの病棟 ] 99% | 3 | 0.0187 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bubba | 74 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Scott Pilgrim Vs Match Making | 69 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | xDaNnY0 | 50 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Duke Dennis of CS | 48 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Obese Doggo | 30 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | トムの病棟 ] 99% | +3.54 | 71 | 11 |
| #2 | doner | +2.99 | 91 | 52 |
| #3 | Bubba | +2.52 | 53 | 53 |
| #4 | Rishi Sunak | +1.67 | 46 | 17 |
| #5 | Scott Pilgrim Vs Match Making | +1.50 | 54 | 56 |





