








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
66 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9 | 5% |
| Smokes | 91 | 50% |
| HE Grenades | 40 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 42 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $49,317 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Washed Player | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | HuskyJohnson | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | King ♚™ | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | DeltaBlitz | 29% | 7 |
| #5 | Tomi ツ | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Washed Player | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | HuskyJohnson | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | King ♚™ | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | DeltaBlitz | 29% | 7 |
| #5 | Tomi ツ | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeltaBlitz | 1 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeltaBlitz | 16 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | King ♚™ | 13 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #3 | Washed Player | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Washed Player | +1.66 | 35 | 43 |
| #2 | King ♚™ | +1.60 | 54 | 59 |
| #3 | HuskyJohnson | +0.42 | 59 | 19 |
| #4 | Tomi ツ | -0.05 | 64 | 38 |
| #5 | JiggleTwit | -2.11 | 79 | 31 |





