








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 764 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1927 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1250 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1426 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 724 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 489 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $899,117 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 567 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Punished Welfarious | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | what da dog doin.mp4 | 54% | 67 |
| #3 | BK_ChillaxX | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | ShawnTheBuba | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | Mruiz987 | 45% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Mruiz987 | 45% | 73 |
| #6 | EA IS A BUNCH OF POOSIES | 36% | 33 |
| #7 | Suhveer | 33% | 27 |
| #8 | "Normality" | 26% | 19 |
| #9 | HeatWarrior546 | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | what da dog doin.mp4 | 12 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | BK_ChillaxX | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | ShawnTheBuba | 5 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Mruiz987 | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | "Normality" | 4 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mruiz987 | 235 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | what da dog doin.mp4 | 206 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | Suhveer | 42 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | BK_ChillaxX | 40 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Punished Welfarious | 30 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Punished Welfarious | +4.79 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | what da dog doin.mp4 | +4.21 | 83 | 70 |
| #3 | MoeFugga27 | +2.42 | 27 | 42 |
| #4 | BK_ChillaxX | -0.84 | 41 | 18 |
| #5 | "Normality" | -1.30 | 2 | 39 |





