








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 667 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4102 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5719 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2858 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4181 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2535 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $944,748 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 738 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erakko | 61% | 168 |
| #2 | Denny Crane | 58% | 52 |
| #3 | Juunas♞MONSTER | 56% | 267 |
| #4 | Hauntaa | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | AlbertMonster | 54% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | jErmone | 47% | 64 |
| #11 | ム nuori Tom Selleck | 44% | 25 |
| #12 | jarkkob | 44% | 91 |
| #13 | koiranperse | 43% | 70 |
| #14 | XNTON | 38% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erakko | 42 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | AlbertMonster | 32 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | Juunas♞MONSTER | 24 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | jarkkob | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | XNTON | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlbertMonster | 772 | 0.24 | 22 min |
| #2 | Erakko | 529 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | Juunas♞MONSTER | 432 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | XNTON | 346 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #5 | koiranperse | 312 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlbertMonster | +2.27 | 70 | 79 |
| #2 | koiranperse | +1.10 | 66 | 76 |
| #3 | Vintage Johansson | +1.09 | 49 | 70 |
| #4 | Denny Crane | +0.98 | 67 | 75 |
| #5 | Juunas♞MONSTER | +0.35 | 50 | 50 |





