








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3317 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,548 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2538 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1931 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2222 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1857 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,117,628 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saeso | 16 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | TeddyV | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Low price haircuts | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Comic | 9 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | ;D /nbw/ | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saeso | 548 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | TeddyV | 396 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Low price haircuts | 343 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | ;D /nbw/ | 226 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #5 | wdz | 110 | 0.27 | 3 min |





