








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,167 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 461 | 40% |
| Smokes | 233 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 369 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 104 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $263,198 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wonho | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | 凪卄 | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | icebear | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Kawaii Is Life | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | FloatingSink | 56% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | FloatingSink | 56% | 77 |
| #6 | Bacon Is Life | 50% | 8 |
| #7 | Yang | 50% | 10 |
| #8 | Bot Bob | kickback.com | 50% | 20 |
| #9 | ⊰ blind ⊱ | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FloatingSink | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Bot Bob | kickback.com | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | 凪卄 | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | ⊰ blind ⊱ | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | icebear | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FloatingSink | 278 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | 凪卄 | 60 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kawaii Is Life | 37 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bot Bob | kickback.com | 28 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Yang | 26 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yang | +2.10 | 59 | 66 |
| #2 | Harmless Cat | +1.53 | 83 | 36 |
| #3 | Kawaii Is Life | +1.25 | 87 | 53 |
| #4 | Bot Bob | kickback.com | +1.18 | 74 | 57 |
| #5 | FloatingSink | +0.24 | 79 | 56 |





