








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 559 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 283 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,438 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2217 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3242 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2411 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2568 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $929,566 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ByTE | 53% | 17 |
| #6 | RUPSUREIKÄ =D | 53% | 55 |
| #7 | massimasa | 51% | 186 |
| #8 | Jepu ジェプ | 48% | 60 |
| #9 | Axl Smith | 48% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | massimasa | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Weiho | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Axl Smith | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goffy ★ Umnichka | +1.67 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | Weiho | +0.77 | 68 | 56 |
| #3 | Kimbo | +0.34 | 54 | 71 |
| #4 | him | +0.12 | 72 | 69 |
| #5 | massimasa | -0.12 | 68 | 70 |





