








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1022 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 681 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8649 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,335 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4941 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4832 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6164 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4398 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,820,231 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drazer | 64% | 42 |
| #2 | NilS シ | 57% | 63 |
| #3 | Huehnersuppe mit Maggi | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | .W1Ls0N | 54% | 57 |
| #5 | SIT DOWN- | 51% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Huehnersuppe mit Maggi | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | .W1Ls0N | 54% | 57 |
| #5 | SIT DOWN- | 51% | 57 |
| #6 | Crazy ☆ | 47% | 43 |
| #7 | CRUNCH | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CRUNCH | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | SIT DOWN- | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | .W1Ls0N | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Drazer | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Crazy ☆ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SIT DOWN- | 265 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #2 | NilS シ | 263 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | .W1Ls0N | 186 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | CRUNCH | 87 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Crazy ☆ | 73 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drazer | +1.52 | 79 | 36 |
| #2 | Neolinho | +1.16 | 83 | 62 |
| #3 | Huehnersuppe mit Maggi | +0.12 | 53 | 56 |
| #4 | SIT DOWN- | -0.56 | 44 | 73 |
| #5 | .W1Ls0N | -1.22 | 42 | 71 |





