








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
754 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,408 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 785 | 33% |
| Smokes | 629 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 509 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 485 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $179,799 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Helgezen | 50% | 50 |
| #7 | MINTY | 48% | 33 |
| #8 | explore | 44% | 25 |
| #9 | fuck yellow watermelon | 43% | 7 |
| #10 | ✪ KjellKjeltring | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helgezen | 108 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | explore | 101 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | MINTY | 80 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | KraftVaffelZ | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | fuck yellow watermelon | 19 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KraftVaffelZ | +2.92 | 88 | 67 |
| #2 | zendi-M- | +2.76 | 90 | 61 |
| #3 | explore | +1.07 | 82 | 72 |
| #4 | MINTY | +0.05 | 82 | 66 |
| #5 | Helgezen | -1.63 | 56 | 67 |





