








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1227 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 608 matches | ||
| Wingman | 67 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




131 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8743 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,189 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6564 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4826 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2161 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 5638 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,574,601 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gilly gonka | 54% | 50 |
| #2 | bird game 3 enjoyer | 50% | 122 |
| #3 | pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism | 49% | 333 |
| #4 | GooseSh1t | 49% | 186 |
| #5 | D4ta | 45% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gilly gonka | 54% | 50 |
| #2 | bird game 3 enjoyer | 50% | 122 |
| #3 | pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism | 49% | 333 |
| #4 | GooseSh1t | 49% | 186 |
| #5 | D4ta | 45% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GooseSh1t | 85 | 0.0205 |
| #2 | pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism | 70 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | D4ta | 25 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | bird game 3 enjoyer | 20 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | gilly gonka | 5 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism | 733 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #2 | GooseSh1t | 578 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | bird game 3 enjoyer | 473 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | D4ta | 363 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | gilly gonka | 124 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bird game 3 enjoyer | +2.50 | 78 | 50 |
| #2 | pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism | +1.66 | 70 | 51 |
| #3 | spell | +1.25 | 77 | 52 |
| #4 | gilly gonka | -0.86 | 56 | 59 |
| #5 | GooseSh1t | -1.66 | 57 | 51 |





