








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,168 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1434 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1399 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2352 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1983 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $311,673 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZyFixx#PTK | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | Blutaar | 51% | 168 |
| #3 | BlindMonkey23 | 46% | 54 |
| #4 | HappyHippo | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | SpAnNeR | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | HappyHippo | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | SpAnNeR | 44% | 16 |
| #6 | FadeX ツ | 42% | 57 |
| #7 | SpAnNeR#^1 | 41% | 80 |
| #8 | Simpli | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blutaar | 12 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | ZyFixx#PTK | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | SpAnNeR#^1 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | FadeX ツ | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Simpli | 2 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blutaar | 595 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | SpAnNeR#^1 | 339 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #3 | BlindMonkey23 | 204 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | FadeX ツ | 186 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | SpAnNeR | 97 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlindMonkey23 | +3.22 | 76 | 72 |
| #2 | ZyFixx#PTK | +2.49 | 87 | 60 |
| #3 | Blutaar | +1.77 | 76 | 73 |
| #4 | FadeX ツ | +1.70 | 71 | 65 |
| #5 | SpAnNeR | +0.70 | 58 | 88 |





