








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
208 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 621 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 187 | 30% |
| Smokes | 172 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 117 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 145 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $63,480 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h0kum_ | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Elyicum | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | Schmiddo | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | LilF*ckingSimon | 29% | 21 |
| #5 | DaMisch | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h0kum_ | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Elyicum | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | Schmiddo | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | LilF*ckingSimon | 29% | 21 |
| #5 | DaMisch | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LilF*ckingSimon | 2 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LilF*ckingSimon | 30 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | Elyicum | 30 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | h0kum_ | 26 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Schmiddo | 15 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schmiddo | +2.05 | 61 | 33 |
| #2 | h0kum_ | +0.37 | 61 | 51 |
| #3 | Naroh | -0.66 | 56 | 53 |
| #4 | Elyicum | -0.89 | 45 | 56 |
| #5 | LilF*ckingSimon | -3.82 | 40 | 36 |





