








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 182 | 16% |
| Smokes | 294 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 318 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 317 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $362,668 of utility $254 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .spokE | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | ☞ Exory™ ☚ | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | EyesOn | 55% | 44 |
| #4 | Mr.Tinte | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Schiggyswag | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EyesOn | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | ☞ Exory™ ☚ | 2 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☞ Exory™ ☚ | +4.44 | 62 | 75 |
| #2 | .spokE | +3.10 | 70 | 70 |
| #3 | IceWare | Cocaine Jesus | +1.76 | 64 | 70 |
| #4 | Schiggyswag | +1.00 | 50 | 68 |
| #5 | EyesOn | +0.05 | 54 | 73 |





