








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 316 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 365 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2318 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3532 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 2372 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 822 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,454,570 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | "Marshall" | 58% | 111 |
| #2 | ChefLeo | 54% | 87 |
| #3 | _kewk | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | Delay | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | GoKu | 51% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChefLeo | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | excellent | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | "Marshall" | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | GoKu | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Elden Lord | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _kewk | +1.89 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | Delay | +1.85 | 81 | 47 |
| #3 | excellent | +1.07 | 58 | 62 |
| #4 | SnakezZ^^ | +1.04 | 62 | 53 |
| #5 | "Marshall" | +0.74 | 33 | 74 |





