










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 659 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1054 | 31% |
| Smokes | 868 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 915 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 594 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $440,646 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silu | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Miksu | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | axel | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | Staaxi | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | ✪ DonaldsonLH | 57% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Freecant | 57% | 28 |
| #7 | zy | 50% | 10 |
| #8 | Loxi | 50% | 14 |
| #9 | Matrix | 45% | 11 |
| #10 | crisiz | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zy | 2 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Loxi | 1 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | axel | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freecant | 124 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | Loxi | 52 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | Matrix | 50 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | Silu | 48 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✪ DonaldsonLH | 45 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miksu | +3.70 | 87 | 36 |
| #2 | Matrix | +2.97 | 80 | 75 |
| #3 | plex. | +2.10 | 69 | 61 |
| #4 | zy | +0.06 | 58 | 39 |
| #5 | Freecant | -0.12 | 69 | 67 |





