








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 486 | 21% |
| Smokes | 433 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 864 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 529 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $919,966 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tim3k1ll | 48% | 85 |
| #2 | BastiKalaschnikow | 42% | 59 |
| #3 | Pfuscher | 42% | 211 |
| #4 | MuddyB | 41% | 44 |
| #5 | hakuna_matata_0805 | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tim3k1ll | 48% | 85 |
| #2 | BastiKalaschnikow | 42% | 59 |
| #3 | Pfuscher | 42% | 211 |
| #4 | MuddyB | 41% | 44 |
| #5 | hakuna_matata_0805 | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pfuscher | 17 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | BastiKalaschnikow | 13 | 0.0121 |
| #3 | Tim3k1ll | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | hakuna_matata_0805 | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pfuscher | 242 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | Tim3k1ll | 93 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | BastiKalaschnikow | 91 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | MuddyB | 72 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | hakuna_matata_0805 | 25 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pfuscher | +1.33 | 17 | 54 |
| #2 | Tim3k1ll | +0.55 | 31 | 48 |
| #3 | MuddyB | +0.23 | 47 | 72 |
| #4 | BastiKalaschnikow | -0.54 | 39 | 33 |
| #5 | hakuna_matata_0805 | -1.64 | 19 | 41 |





