








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
352 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 973 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 108 | 11% |
| Smokes | 259 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 314 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 292 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $203,050 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 459 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr Phil | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | aapo | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | sipatti | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | Kukko | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr Phil | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | aapo | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | sipatti | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | Kukko | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sipatti | 9 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | aapo | 3 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | Kukko | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sipatti | 75 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | aapo | 30 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kukko | 25 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dr Phil | 21 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr Phil | +3.55 | 57 | 42 |
| #2 | sipatti | +3.22 | 57 | 61 |
| #3 | aapo | -2.27 | 64 | 62 |
| #4 | Gorilla | -2.91 | 44 | 29 |
| #5 | Kukko | -3.85 | 66 | 36 |





