








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
633 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,840 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 425 | 23% |
| Smokes | 559 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 394 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 462 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $556,678 of utility $274 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Royal3lue | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Mr.Woodapple | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | Number Juan | 44% | 73 |
| #4 | mex1911 | 41% | 78 |
| #5 | ManFile | 41% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mex1911 | 14 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | ManFile | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Mr.Woodapple | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Number Juan | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | $t€ff€n88 | 1 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ManFile | 385 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | mex1911 | 311 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | Number Juan | 102 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mr.Woodapple | 25 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Royal3lue | 19 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $t€ff€n88 | +3.25 | 70 | 70 |
| #2 | ManFile | +2.20 | 67 | 63 |
| #3 | Mr.Woodapple | +0.23 | 57 | 36 |
| #4 | Royal3lue | +0.18 | 74 | 63 |
| #5 | Number Juan | -0.04 | 41 | 48 |





