








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1645 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,698 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2095 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2271 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2525 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2807 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $987,704 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 495 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zegral | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | Busty Blart | 51% | 265 |
| #3 | Justoooooon | 49% | 110 |
| #4 | jq | 47% | 272 |
| #5 | The Shrock | 47% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Busty Blart | 20 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | jq | 15 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | The Shrock | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Jett | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Justoooooon | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jq | +1.78 | 55 | 61 |
| #2 | Busty Blart | +1.21 | 67 | 35 |
| #3 | Bush did it | +0.22 | 71 | 55 |
| #4 | Jett | -0.10 | 56 | 73 |
| #5 | Jethro | -0.18 | 58 | 71 |





