










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 281 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,906 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4053 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2972 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2156 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1725 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $456,745 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 582 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JkarJJ | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | kassu69 | 50% | 179 |
| #3 | Mise | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | iko | 46% | 57 |
| #5 | Lix | 45% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | kassu69 | 50% | 179 |
| #3 | Mise | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | iko | 46% | 57 |
| #5 | Lix | 45% | 154 |
| #6 | stxr | 43% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kassu69 | 62 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | Lix | 42 | 0.0132 |
| #3 | iko | 29 | 0.0246 |
| #4 | stxr | 24 | 0.0213 |
| #5 | JkarJJ | 5 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kassu69 | 442 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | Lix | 245 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | iko | 122 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | JkarJJ | 95 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | stxr | 86 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mise | +5.40 | 98 | 68 |
| #2 | iko | +2.41 | 83 | 53 |
| #3 | kassu69 | +1.35 | 71 | 49 |
| #4 | stxr | +0.64 | 66 | 33 |
| #5 | Lix | +0.10 | 73 | 49 |





