








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,344 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 948 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1571 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1882 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 943 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $858,275 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xSyN | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | xElement4rY | 52% | 191 |
| #3 | MrNoop | 51% | 79 |
| #4 | Guenni | 50% | 207 |
| #5 | headiii3 | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xSyN | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | xElement4rY | 52% | 191 |
| #3 | MrNoop | 51% | 79 |
| #4 | Guenni | 50% | 207 |
| #5 | headiii3 | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guenni | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | MrNoop | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | xElement4rY | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xElement4rY | 922 | 0.22 | 26 min |
| #2 | Guenni | 851 | 0.19 | 26 min |
| #3 | MrNoop | 256 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | xSyN | 32 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrNoop | +1.58 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | xSyN | +0.13 | 84 | 71 |
| #3 | Guenni | -0.15 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | xElement4rY | -0.17 | 54 | 71 |
| #5 | André | -1.30 | 46 | 52 |





