








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 431 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 77 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2312 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,655 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 308 | 7% |
| Smokes | 808 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1392 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2147 | 46% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,400,523 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eulalio | 49 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | Frozt | 32 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | Fakie | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Carolina | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Sir_Alexay | 5 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eulalio | 534 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | Frozt | 388 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | Guerrácius | 221 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Carolina | 196 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Fakie | 171 | 0.07 | 4 min |





