








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1042 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,455 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1087 | 31% |
| Smokes | 878 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 839 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 651 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $175,926 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biko< | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | LollZen | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | rApiD.eXe | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | røxør | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | iNick | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iNick | 4 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | biko< | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | relluc | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | ✪ TITanIumS® | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | rApiD.eXe | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ TITanIumS® | 151 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | biko< | 125 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | røxør | 92 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | rApiD.eXe | 81 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kjord | 68 | 0.27 | 2 min |





