








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 407 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 982 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2077 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2122 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1874 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $510,245 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 243 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JBarny | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | Wetters | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | Goose | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | ErastusJack | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Paradox | 49% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paradox | 86 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | JBarny | 54 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | akumasekai | 53 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | ErastusJack | 39 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Wetters | 37 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tuff | +4.93 | 76 | 58 |
| #2 | JBarny | +0.16 | 66 | 52 |
| #3 | ErastusJack | -0.39 | 71 | 61 |
| #4 | Wetters | -0.60 | 56 | 59 |
| #5 | tones | -0.79 | 46 | 41 |





