








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 296 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2174 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,551 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1193 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2691 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 1330 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1337 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $419,045 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 465 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bepis Boi | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | Flappy | 52% | 95 |
| #3 | yee haw | 52% | 132 |
| #4 | Fantastic Offers | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | Funnysoup™ | 45% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bepis Boi | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | Flappy | 52% | 95 |
| #3 | yee haw | 52% | 132 |
| #4 | Fantastic Offers | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | Funnysoup™ | 45% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flappy | 17 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | yee haw | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Funnysoup™ | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Bepis Boi | 3 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flappy | 256 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | yee haw | 164 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Funnysoup™ | 87 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bepis Boi | 54 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fantastic Offers | 50 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flappy | +0.91 | 79 | 57 |
| #2 | fat cat with wizard hat | +0.69 | 59 | 58 |
| #3 | yee haw | +0.55 | 88 | 49 |
| #4 | Funnysoup™ | -1.44 | 52 | 56 |
| #5 | Bepis Boi | -1.62 | 54 | 42 |





