








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 80 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6783 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,795 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5758 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4842 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3611 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3584 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,137,646 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 561 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheColonel | 46% | 56 |
| #2 | Seth Milkshake | 38% | 47 |
| #3 | KingQuadFeed | 37% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheColonel | 46% | 56 |
| #2 | Seth Milkshake | 38% | 47 |
| #3 | KingQuadFeed | 37% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seth Milkshake | 17 | 0.0190 |
| #2 | TheColonel | 12 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | KingQuadFeed | 5 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KingQuadFeed | 29 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #2 | TheColonel | 22 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #3 | Seth Milkshake | 3 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jiggles | +4.36 | 59 | 56 |
| #2 | Seth Milkshake | -0.83 | 37 | 9 |
| #3 | TheColonel | -0.86 | 54 | 37 |
| #4 | KingQuadFeed | -3.35 | 6 | 18 |





