








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




98 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,403 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4930 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2382 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3140 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2951 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,109,223 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 346 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herland | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | Tora ♡ | 67% | 27 |
| #3 | • ☆ samixje ♡♧ | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | KeviNn | 62% | 199 |
| #5 | Luthaden | 60% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KeviNn | 39 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | Dylan | 18 | 0.0169 |
| #3 | Herroow | 12 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | ՖǞǞǞʟƉՕՕՕ | 12 | 0.0138 |
| #5 | Path | 8 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Path | 554 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | KeviNn | 458 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Luthaden | 186 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Dylan | 180 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Memer | 135 | 0.04 | 3 min |





