








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 396 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 627 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,757 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2144 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1942 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2852 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 819 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,489,059 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Svendler | 51% | 273 |
| #2 | Stoopid. | 49% | 210 |
| #3 | Fresh Dumbledore | 45% | 47 |
| #4 | xKrypton1x | 43% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Svendler | 51% | 273 |
| #2 | Stoopid. | 49% | 210 |
| #3 | Fresh Dumbledore | 45% | 47 |
| #4 | xKrypton1x | 43% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Svendler | 24 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Stoopid. | 15 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Fresh Dumbledore | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | xKrypton1x | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Svendler | 263 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #2 | Stoopid. | 172 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | xKrypton1x | 38 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Fresh Dumbledore | 30 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Svendler | -0.08 | 42 | 52 |
| #2 | Stoopid. | -0.32 | 32 | 52 |
| #3 | mOrL3 | -0.81 | 49 | 44 |
| #4 | xKrypton1x | -1.25 | 31 | 44 |
| #5 | Fresh Dumbledore | -2.52 | 13 | 44 |





