








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
830 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,495 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 714 | 29% |
| Smokes | 519 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 591 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 671 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $343,777 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓛𝓪𝔃𝔂 | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | trespasser | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Socially Inept Forest Puppy | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | Aleu | 54% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓛𝓪𝔃𝔂 | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | trespasser | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Socially Inept Forest Puppy | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | Aleu | 54% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aleu | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Socially Inept Forest Puppy | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | 𝓛𝓪𝔃𝔂 | 2 | 0.0161 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aleu | 361 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | Socially Inept Forest Puppy | 66 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | trespasser | 32 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | 𝓛𝓪𝔃𝔂 | 6 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aleu | +3.67 | 83 | 60 |
| #2 | trespasser | +1.53 | 78 | 76 |
| #3 | 𝓛𝓪𝔃𝔂 | +1.09 | 78 | 29 |
| #4 | UsherCat | -0.57 | 71 | 50 |
| #5 | Socially Inept Forest Puppy | -4.23 | 59 | 30 |





