








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 804 | 25% |
| Smokes | 665 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 991 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 704 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,028 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Talmer | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | BUCKY | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | errands | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | AsheR | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | Cosmic | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AsheR | 4 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | GILFELICIOUS | 4 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | DEZZY | 4 | 0.0230 |
| #4 | errands | 2 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Talmer | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BUCKY | +4.88 | 76 | 16 |
| #2 | errands | +3.06 | 91 | 46 |
| #3 | DEZZY | +2.73 | 83 | 47 |
| #4 | Talmer | +1.77 | 62 | 80 |
| #5 | la la la la la | +1.07 | 90 | 55 |





