








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1365 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,613 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1171 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1146 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1083 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1213 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $512,546 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MɾOႦʋισυZȥ | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | SaintHappy | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | Ctrl_08 | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | The_Blood | 48% | 27 |
| #5 | Demenishki_enjoyer | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SaintHappy | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | Ctrl_08 | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | The_Blood | 48% | 27 |
| #5 | Demenishki_enjoyer | 48% | 21 |
| #6 | SymmaTree | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The_Blood | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Demenishki_enjoyer | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | MɾOႦʋισυZȥ | 2 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | SymmaTree | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SymmaTree | 51 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Ctrl_08 | 27 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Demenishki_enjoyer | 14 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | MɾOႦʋισυZȥ | 11 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | SaintHappy | 5 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ctrl_08 | +2.58 | 73 | 45 |
| #2 | MɾOႦʋισυZȥ | +2.31 | 66 | 34 |
| #3 | Demenishki_enjoyer | +1.55 | 62 | 46 |
| #4 | SaintHappy | +0.30 | 72 | 17 |
| #5 | MnrPe11y | -0.53 | 56 | 61 |





