








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,708 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 611 | 23% |
| Smokes | 490 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1116 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 491 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $342,691 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RobbieJones | 55% | 56 |
| #2 | Anu Map Who Bis | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | if she aint 280 she aint a lady | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Liaam ☻ | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | Woody_Wins_ | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Liaam ☻ | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | Woody_Wins_ | 43% | 14 |
| #6 | Diddy (ooh i needed that) | 41% | 17 |
| #7 | Big Beter | 40% | 35 |
| #8 | Perc31King | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anu Map Who Bis | 6 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | Perc31King | 3 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | RobbieJones | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Big Beter | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Liaam ☻ | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RobbieJones | 169 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Liaam ☻ | 41 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Diddy (ooh i needed that) | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | if she aint 280 she aint a lady | 21 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Big Beter | 16 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RobbieJones | +3.48 | 78 | 63 |
| #2 | Diddy (ooh i needed that) | +2.86 | 84 | 65 |
| #3 | Liaam ☻ | +1.36 | 69 | 47 |
| #4 | Anu Map Who Bis | -0.87 | 64 | 30 |
| #5 | if she aint 280 she aint a lady | -1.02 | 87 | 66 |





