








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
272 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,265 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 618 | 49% |
| Smokes | 210 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 214 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 223 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $60,695 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BM0 | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Freez | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | zulsty | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | frederinoz | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | ambatocum | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | frederinoz | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | ambatocum | 48% | 29 |
| #6 | Ossie 努玛埃 | 48% | 23 |
| #7 | Xolar | 47% | 30 |
| #8 | sere * | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ambatocum | 11 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | Freez | 3 | 0.0341 |
| #3 | frederinoz | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | sere * | 1 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | zulsty | 1 | 0.0122 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xolar | 98 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | ambatocum | 95 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ossie 努玛埃 | 78 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | frederinoz | 25 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | sere * | 17 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ossie 努玛埃 | +3.99 | 68 | 65 |
| #2 | Xolar | +0.83 | 70 | 56 |
| #3 | frederinoz | +0.50 | 64 | 58 |
| #4 | ambatocum | -0.18 | 57 | 43 |
| #5 | sere * | -0.45 | 48 | 50 |





